{"id":441,"date":"2020-09-11T16:42:43","date_gmt":"2020-09-11T16:42:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/?p=441"},"modified":"2020-11-04T19:27:20","modified_gmt":"2020-11-04T19:27:20","slug":"listen-to-your-own-voice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/listen-to-your-own-voice\/","title":{"rendered":"Avoid Self-Doubt: Listening To Your Own Voice"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Describing someone else\u2019s expectations of me, a friend once asked, \u201cDid you elect that person judge of your life or was it an appointed position?\u201d The question caught me off guard \u2013 I was stumped.\u00a0 There was no way around it\u2026 I had been letting someone else\u2019s opinion take precedent over my own intuition. We wouldn\u2019t ever deliberately allow someone else dominion over our thoughts and feelings, but we know it happens.<\/p>

A key personal philosophy for peace of mind (and success, even), is this: never let someone else\u2019s communication diminish how you feel or take away from who you know yourself to be.<\/p>

Your decisions are your responsibility – your responsibility alone. The same goes for how you feel about yourself.\u00a0 No one else has the right to commandeer your state of mind unless you let them.<\/p>

When you let someone else dictate what you should or shouldn\u2019t do, or how you feel, you sacrifice your freedom.\u00a0 This destructive pattern can perpetuate self-doubt, dependency on others and open you up to be manipulated.<\/p>

So how do we avoid falling into that pattern?<\/p>

This tool, taught by a friend of mine, suggests listening both to what is being said (one ear) and to how what is being said is a reflection of the speaker (the second ear).\u00a0 Applying this technique helps you discern both the message and the context as you factor in the motivation of the speaker.<\/p>

\"Hearing Hearing With Both Ears<\/p>

The Benefit? Hearing with both ears helps us sidestep a reaction to what someone else says, especially if it is mean-spirited, hurtful or ill-intentioned. Often the person offering advice means well, honestly hoping to steer you in the right direction.\u00a0 Still, be on the lookout for limiting beliefs, of which they may not even be aware.<\/p>

What if they have a point?<\/strong><\/p>

When we hear with both ears, we can also listen for information we may have missed, or a perspective we hadn\u2019t considered. But how do we know when to consider another\u2019s opinion or perspective, or dismiss it?<\/p>

Check in with yourself and ask, \u201cDoes this person have my best intentions at heart?\u201d\u00a0 If the answer is YES, then consider their viewpoint in conjunction with yours.<\/p>

If the answer is NO, or maybe not, take what they are saying with a grain of salt.\u00a0 Remember: limiting beliefs.\u00a0 Instead, allow space to be with your own thoughts, and formulate your own opinion.<\/p>

Putting it into Practice<\/strong><\/p>

What someone else says to us can have lasting effects.\u00a0 So if you catch yourself thinking, \u201cI can\u2019t do that\u2026 who am I to think I can _________, I\u2019m not __________ enough to\u2026 etc.\u201d\u00a0 Stop.\u00a0 Sit with it for a minute.\u00a0\u00a0Where did that thought come from?\u00a0\u00a0Did I decide that?\u00a0 Or is it the product of what someone else told me?\u00a0 As speaker and author Byron Katie says, \u201cIs that TRUE?\u201d<\/p>

If you\u2019re unsure of your ability to discern between what you should and shouldn\u2019t listen to, fear not.\u00a0 This is simply part of the process of taking back your power where you have been giving it away.\u00a0 And like anything, you learn with practice.<\/p>

I believe the more you\u2019re willing to listen for your own voice, the easier it will be to hear it, and learn to trust it as a reliable guide for all of the choices that life gives you.<\/p>

Thank you to Mike Campbell and Mark Halvorson for being role models on how to listen to and honor your own voice.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Describing someone else\u2019s expectations of me, a friend once asked, \u201cDid you elect that person judge of your life or was it an appointed position?\u201d The question caught me off guard \u2013 I was stumped.\u00a0 There was no way around it\u2026 I had been letting someone else\u2019s opinion take precedent over my own intuition. We […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":463,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[4,5,6],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=441"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/463"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inventurecoaching.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}