The \u201cshitty first draft\u201d (to quote Bren\u00e9 Brown) is now there for all to see. It\u2019s 80% good. It\u2019s been shipped. It\u2019s real. Wow. I did that. <shaking head><\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been working on this handbook for the bulk of my life, a half-century so far, but it’s no surprise that the last 10% of the effort has been the most challenging. I now see clearly exactly what makes other men give up. I couldn\u2019t have picked something that required more guts than this.<\/p>\n
The Gem In The Muck<\/h2>\n
After deciding to get serious about producing the 21st Century Man Handbook around 2016, the biggest lurch forward came when Andy got me to join Toastmasters, the worldwide public speaking club that\u2019s been around for almost 100 years.<\/p>\n
As you may have heard, public speaking is known to be the second biggest fear people have, right after the fear of dying! \ud83d\ude33<\/p>\n
That\u2019s when I started finding my courage not only with speaking in public, but saying things people have never heard before about the lives of men. It was one of the hardest things I\u2019ve ever done.<\/p>\n
Then I started getting standing ovations, the thumbs up gestures, and the \u201cthank you thank you thank you\u201d comments after each speech which really movtivated me to keep at it.<\/p>\n
In Toastmasters there was another huge obstacle – the strict 5-7 minute time limit on speeches which I called my \u201cnemesis.\u201d I hated it. How can I tackle issues regarding the lives of men in such a short time? It turned out to be a blessing in disguise because that time limit was responsible for forcing me to find simple ways to explain and understand complicated things, and this ultimately led me to discover and assemble the first ever \u201cMap of a Man\u2019s Life.\u201d<\/p>\n
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This map is the critically important piece that all others before me have missed, no question about it.<\/p>\n
We have maps for absolutely everything, including the clothes you\u2019re wearing and the body you’re living in, but no map of a man\u2019s life. Well now there’s a real map, and everything about a man\u2019s life falls somewhere on this map.<\/p>\n
Andy talks about finding “the gems in the muck” and this couldn\u2019t be a more perfect example of that.<\/p>\n
The Extreme Challenges<\/h2>\n
There have been so many discouraging things that have happened, both with people and with myself. Here\u2019s an example of one that seemed like a gigantic challenge but it wasn\u2019t after all.<\/p>\n
I started noticing that after my speeches women would vocally offer their high praise, but all the guys would disappear and say nothing. And when guys did say something, it was just a word or two like \u201cAwesome man!\u201d It was seriously disheartening to realize that most men seem to be completely uninterested. \u201cWhy should I even bother\u201d was a whine Andy heard me say often.<\/p>\n
After lots of perseverance the answer became clear. It was the \u201ccontext\u201d that was the issue. Guys actually loved hearing about all these things, but not in front of other guys, and definitely not in front of their girlfriends and wives. I realized that guys will eat up this stuff as long as they can do it in private.<\/p>\n
So you see, it was an illusion that I somehow had to find a way to get most men interested in something that delivers immediate benefits, when that wasn\u2019t an issue at all. So many times, the \u201cmountains\u201d we think we have to conquer were just misperceptions in our heads and weren’t actually there.<\/p>\n
My Coaching With Andy Continues<\/h2>\n
Even though the 21st Century Man Handbook is already in literally a billion pockets around the globe, only \u201chundreds\u201d of men are currently aware of it here in 2020. I know I don\u2019t have to say another word and you can just \u201cfeel\u201d what kind of crazy effort it\u2019s going to take to get a billion guys to discover it. I’ll settle for hundreds of millions. Anything less than that is unacceptable.<\/p>\n
If hundreds of millions of men can learn to work their cellphones, they can learn to work their lives in a more optimal way that makes them feel stronger and stand taller and the best in life will show up for them as a result.<\/p>\n
The challenges sometime seem endless. For instance, there\u2019s a huge population of men who are afraid to look at themselves, and they\u2019ll attack me and my character which is their defensive reaction, essentially sticking their fingers in their ears and going \u201cla la la la la.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Its original purpose was to be the content under the \u201chead\u201d section of the Map of a Man\u2019s Life and show men how to sort things out for themselves. But it turned out to be something that both men, women and kids can benefit from so it got peeled out and now stands on its own.<\/p>\n